“Want to join us for a hike?”

I did.

It was morning, 7 or 8 maybe

on a Saturday

and a friend, who was also my roommate,

at the time,

was setting out with a

group on a hike somewhere,

that, after a few

twists and turns,

was supposed to let out

at a beautiful

high overlook

above the beach,

and I was so ready to feel

the fresh air, and freedom,

and warm sun,

of the outdoors.

The only

thing was

I hadn’t hiked in a while

and hadn’t gone very far

on those last hikes.

and I hadn’t even walked more

than maybe a mile, or half mile,

each way, to the shopping center near

our small apartment building.

I was barely waking up

And I wasn’t going to have time

to ask anyone to

come along,

or really even,

make sure I felt comfortable

with the length or terrain ahead.

I had a few minutes to decide, and

get a quick shower and breakfast,

if I wanted to go along.

The hike was mostly flat, she said (yeah it wasn’t),

and it was a bunch of kind, warm, chill,

people.

I was like no, I’ll sleep in,

and my whole body was like,

let’s go,

wouldn’t it feel so good to get up

and go.

no no no

but then I did.

I can definitely do this, if this is what

my body is saying is needed.

And, at first, it was great,

flat hike,

sun streaming through trees,

just the right pace,

and if you fell back, or forward, in

the group, you’d always have people to hike with,

but then came the vertical.

we could keep going, on a slow, wouldn’t

even notice it, incline hike that would

take much longer,

or take this turn to our right

that, basically, was going to be a steep, twisty,

incline that wouldn’t let up,

until we got to our destination.

and it would get us there with the

timing we wanted to make,

as long as everyone could keep up.

Well, after very little

back and forth within the group,

we climbed up the first jutting

rock that took us to the first steps of the steep,

and also, rocky incline.

it wasn’t too long before I knew I

wasn’t going to be able to do it.

my body had wanted to go, but

this was now feeling like too much for it.

talk had quieted in the group except for a couple

of happy hikers, as everyone kept

all their attention on the climb,

and, for me, there was a lot of cursing

happening, both to myself and out loud.

I stopped more than once, trying to

come up with some way to help myself

do this,

or feel out some other options,

but there wasn’t another way I could help

myself, right there, in the middle of the hike,

maybe to go back in time and prepare myself

for a hike that was much longer and

steeper than I had anticipated.

there were no turn offs, or other routes,

and the group was less, and less, sure

this was actually a shortcut.

there were two options to get

back down in one piece,

turn around and go back down

the way that we came,

or take this now longer

and much more, is this climb

about to take us down, sort of hike.

each person had the choice to make

for themselves.

everyone else was going to go up,

at the pace that they could.

and the thought of turning back

felt just – urgh – urgh – to me,

and so I turned back to the climb

and cursed and took a step,

and yea, there was pain,

and cursed and took a step,

definitely felt pain,

and cursed,

until, I heard the sounds of celebration

from the hikers in front.

And I turned to take that last step

to see we had made the climb and

stood at the top.

the breeze, the view of the sea,

the hikers laughing, talking,

felt worth the last long

stretch of slow painful hiking

and I would have missed it,

if I went back down.

being there for something

that a couple hours before

I knew was impossible.

~ Nika Patrice.

© 2023. All Rights Reserved.

// Written By Nika Patrice.
Attribution: Nika Patrice.
© 2023-2026 All Rights Reserved. //