We love the parts of people we can get into,
the parts of them that are for us.
But we all have parts of us that are both beautiful and hidden.
Parts of us that aren’t the first thing people see.
It can be uncomfortable to even say, in our
post everything, share everything culture, but we all also
have parts of us that are just for us.
Places in our own experience we can go to and say this is important,
and this is where I remember some part of who I am, or some part of
what I care about, that no one else and nothing else can give to me.
Some core of myself that I bring to life, and I bring to art,
and I bring to
everyone and everything I love.
And if we regain our connection to the part of us
that centers us the most, by taking time alone to do nothing,
or taking time alone with nature, or taking time
alone, with a new rush of thoughts
feelings and ideas, then the part of us that is most
true can also be the part of us that no one can see.
Until maybe they get up real close.
And even then, the pressure to adapt, can be so much
that it’s easy to pretend to need less time alone than you do,
or in the ways that you do. It’s easy to pretend you have a smaller
internal world than you do.
And so only those who love and adore
the part of you that needs time alone, and protect it, and really get
it, and respect it, can connect to the deepest and truest parts of you.
If people who need hours, even days, even sometimes a
full week alone to
keep being themselves, seem confusing, I offer one glimpse into
what it can feel like on the inside.
Where part of all that love and need for time alone comes from.
Imagine turning up the sensations that rush in from life,
in every moment,
by 15 to 20%.
Turn up every sound by 15 to 20%.
Everything other people feel by 15 to 20%.
Every facial expression by 15 to 20%.
Turn up the colors and the brightness on images by 15 to 20%.
Turn up every hug by 15 to 20%.
Every laugh, every crash, every conversation, every cry, every alarm,
every bike ride, every movie, every shout, every crinkle,
every rustle, every
explosion, every song.
And then have it all rush in at once.
It would feel really exciting at first.
All that life rushing in so quickly and with such
intensity. But pretty soon you might need a break.
A way to turn the volume down.
A way to reset.
Time alone is what resets us.
Time alone is what turns the volume down.
And there’s another part of this whole thing that’s hidden.
And that is that, time alone doesn’t always feel so alone.
Everyone has an external world and an internal world.
And for people whose primary world is internal, time alone is just
like returning to a world of ideas, reflections, thoughts,
and feelings, that have
been rushing in and waiting for them, while they were busy
connecting with the people in their lives.
There are a lot of conversations about the need
for connection and the ways
that loneliness drains us.
And it does. All of us. As loneliness is more
about not feeling seen or connected, or
not feeling needed and appreciated for who we really are.
But there is less talk about the crippling effects of over stimulation,
over rushing, over socializing.
More is not necessarily better.
And more of the wrong thing is never enough.
It can feel like there’s no way to stop and reset in our culture,
there are so many places we need to be, and so much going on.
Because our culture says rushing and moving is what we
need to do to
stay involved, to stay connected, to have something to give to others.
But that internal world we all connect to sometimes,
either as our main way to reset, or as one way to reconnect
after taking time to recharge with others, is one way to
reach an important part of ourselves.
Because as much as we love laughing with,
living life with, and partying with the people we love, that
time alone can give us back some important part
of ourselves, and give us more to
offer our family, our friends,
and our art.
~ Nika Patrice
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