This Podcast is Fiction.

Fictional essays on reclamation, identity, enjoyment, belonging, art, nature, beauty, food, and anything else I get really interested in.

Episode Title: “Elary2000 and the Fight Over Her Time.” a.ka. “A.I. and Creativity.” Sharon.

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|| Originally Posted Here. ||

I remember being at my mother’s real estate office one day, and hearing one of the women, overwhelmed with rambunctious kids, neighborhood pressures, and take home work… say, I need a wife.

It seems pretty clear that in American society especially, a wife is exponentially influential in the fulfillment of a dream or the long-term fulfillment and flourishing of a career.

Which, if it turns out that >sigh< you are a heterosexual woman, can make things a little bit tricky.

This is why I was open to the Elary 2000.

When I looked up from 19 years in a finance job that still had me grinding away after all that time, a marriage that was very settled in and extremely quiet, and a son who was so suspicious of everything I said, after years of being attached to my forearm and saying, But Mom I Need Youuuuuuuuu!!!!…

I saw evidence that, even astronomically successful women, required a wife in order to get there.

Did all of these women, who, either platonically or professionally, bolstered the entire careers and livelihoods of other women, in a singular and dedicated way, for either years or decades, get that ring, that day, or like, you know, the dress and the whole thing… that big official title in society? No.

But the duties and responsibilities were there.

Though they would get a status bump, but usually in another way, through work, the business, or raises within the household.

Look to their left, or their right, or just behind, or even behind the front doors, of astronomically successful women, and it won’t take you long to see who that trustworthy confidant is that brings light and life into their dreams or their career.

The one who holds the mess of them, so they can then relax, or stand up straight, and offer the collected, calm, sociable and fueled them out into the world.

And what’s even more common, is that a person without a wife who sets out to live a big dream, especially, if that dream includes thriving in the quote unquote professional or artistic world, and then also thriving as a parent and long term partner, will have 3 to 6 people or services filling that role. And that. number. is. conservative.

3 to 6 people or services, or more, usually more, according to all those stats out there, who still somehow can’t manage to do it, and still somehow can’t get it right.

The Elary was supposed to advise, listen, coordinate the household and make sure I stay connected with my most important relationships.

But then my mother-in-law said, That thing is not giving you my messages.

William should have let you get a male one so that it would give you my messages.

It doesn’t care whether you are male or female, Mom, It cares about your tone of voice in these messages.

For god’s sakes, mom.

And my son started to interrogate Elary about something called The Game and undermining the confidence of even the head cheerleader so much that it would throw her off balance. And you don’t even want to know what his little friends were trying to get him to ask Elary about.

This from the kid who used to get a thrill from asking for two chemistry sets instead of one at Christmas, so he could combine them and see how to make popcorn pop without a microwave or a stove or anything.

But then Elary couldn’t help me the weekend before Labor Day weekend with groceries, errands or dropping off returns at the mall kiosk, because she was helping William organize a business dinner and Settlers Game for some of his biggest demolition clients.

That is the fight over Elary

Why not get two?

Look this Elary, Elary, she is not just an AI agent. She is several AI agents, and a physical laborer with cooking cleaning and first aid skills.

In other words, she “’spensive.”

Anyway, we were fighting.

And I was like, well, why are we making these payments if she’s not helping. *And* we were afraid of having a person take that much responsibility in our household, which when it came down to it, over time, would be even more expensive anyway. And we agreed we were just going to send her back.

And we’ll just go back to having a person do what they can for us, on a few of the days of the week. But it wasn’t enough. I knew it wasn’t going to be enough.

Lemme just say, I know there are women for whom this whole subject is frustrating because their husband is the one who plays this role. Works outside the home in some capacity, manages, and takes care of the household, is the primary caretaker for the kids, and encourages and bolsters the business, or the career, or the dream she has that feeds the family.

And that, in a few cases, more than a few, finding the right partner to love them in this way, and who was fulfilled by that role wasn’t easy for these women. But they did find them. And they have their own stories and things to say about it.

But this was not my personal experience and it is not the experience of most women that I know either. Even some of these women who made businesses that allowed their husbands to retire from their jobs, eventually, the husband would want to express his ambitions through a lead or central role in the company.

And the social and neighborhood pressures, and all that time he’d be spending with the moms in the neighborhood, would eventually make things tricky. But —look— I want you to know that I already know that there’s all sorts of arrangements.

But the reality is I’m still dealing with this and finding my way through it. And so is my loving, but actually kind of conservative husband. Maybe I’ve even been more conservative than I know how to admit.

You know, in some cultures, they have being a mom, and taking care of household chores, and duties, as completely separate things.

Like being a mom is about the kid and not also always automatically about the logistics of the house schedule, cleaning, making or getting the food, or coordinating and organizing all the events and the relatives.

But the reality is I have to make my way in this life that I’m in.

So William and I had a talk. After William making the point that anything you let AI take over you’ll eventually forget how to do and be dependent on them for. He used the words “dumb” and “lazy.”

These things are just going to make us !dumb! and !lazy! I asked if it made him dumb and lazy that I took care of the household, and did the budgeting, and worked, and organized all our son’s sign ups, and made sure to coordinate the attending of events, and the bulk of the healthcare, and the visits of our parents, and the making sure this person isn’t in a room too long with this person, so that everyone can get out of this friggin’ Easter, or Christmas, or July 4th holiday alive.

He said, that’s us depending on each other not them. And I said, well, the things I need help with, in order to paint more, and… and… in order to finally finish this photography book that it seems like is the only thing I want to do, and that the dream of doing is the only thing keeping me from turning a table over at work, or something, are things you don’t want to do.

He stood up and took me by the shoulders because, apparently, I was shaking. Rage, fear, frustration, resentment who knows?

I’m pretty sure there was yelling.

There were definitely some tears.

And I kind of blacked out for a few minutes, honestly.

I just remember the sound of my own voice reverberating in the silence.

and William kind of looking at me like Oh sh–.

Like you never said this whole painting thing and this photography thing was really that important.

Then he sat down on the edge of the bed, looked up at me and said, tell me again what it is you need help with.

And he stepped up, definitely stepped up for a few months. Three months and about a week, actually 3 months and a week exactly.

After the first game of my now unrecognizable kid who hides his science projects in the back of the garage like a secret, and suddenly wanted to try out for basketball….

After that, when we got home and William and I were having some quiet time together, and we were talking about the end of the year coming up, I love you you’re the most important thing to me, he said, but some of these things, the reality of it is I’m just not that awesome at them, I can’t do them and handle all of my responsibilities at work.

I don’t know how you could, but I can’t. We need to figure out a way to do this that lets you have this other time that you are saying that you need to have. And without the household falling all apart. There’s probably some guy that would be good at these kinds of things. But this just isn’t me.

And so the Elary 2000 was back.

Merry Christmas to me.

And this time Elary, the Elary 2000, is dedicated solely to me, and everything I need to make it possible to, I mean, not even to be one of these women who have been labeled, as astronomically successful, both by me and practically all of society, but really just, in order, to get to have the time to be a little more of the person I’ve always wanted to be, that time I need just in order to get to be a little more me.

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© 10/7/2025. Text and Recording. All Rights Reserved.

This Podcast is Fiction.

p.s. The fictional name of the ai in the post was changed so many times because it turns out that there is an ai out there for almost every female name, apparently. It may have to be changed again. As it is not based on any particular AI *And new AIs with female names are popping up basically daily.*